Sunday, August 31, 2008

So its 1am and I am writing

Today was long!! I was up at 5:30am so that I could be at the car place bright and early so they could finally FIX my car!!! I was there for about an hour and a half, I felt I needed to stay to oversee because today was my 4th time taking it in to get the brakes fixed (the brakes the put on wrong in the first place)! Its all good and everything is fixed!

After that I ran a few errands and I realized that is the time to run errands, no one is out then and there is no traffic! I then came home and I fell asleep and didn't get up till 4:30pm and that is why I am still awake now! I have watched tv, done laundry and played the Wii so now I am blogging to waste time!

I read an article in a magazine today about this woman who had a year of bad luck, but the article was about in all of her bad luck there was always someone who did a nice thing for her, weather it was helping her or just saying something nice to her in passing. She said when she thinks back over her all her bad luck she really only remembers the people who did nice things for her. It made me think that if everyone did something nice for some at least once a day this world would be a better place. One of my goals(I am making a list of 100 goals and I will share it when I am finished) now is going to be trying to something nice for a complete stranger once a day! What can I say I believe in Karma....

Here lately I have been thinking a lot about a past relationship I had. I loved him and he was a friend, actually my best friend for awhile. I see things or hear things that remind me of him and this seems to be happening a lot lately. I have started thinking back on our relationship and I wonder "Why" or "Would we have made it if we were older" and then I realized today that it happen when it did because that's the way God wanted it to be. God put him in my life for a reason and I am sure we broke up for a reason. I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and it hit me I am not planning my life God is. I forget that he has a path for me and I forget to ask him for help. I forget to let him guide me. I need to slow down and let him lead me. I know that he doesn't give us things that we cant handle. I think that when my Pap-paw died I forgot about God and let my anger towards him lead my life. I was angry because God took away the rock to my family. My Pap-paw was my rock in my life, he was spiritual consular, my family leader and the love of my my Granny's life. I was angry because God took away my Granny's husband, I thought "who is going to protect my Granny?" God took away my Moms Dad, I thought "Who is going to take care of my mom" and God took away my Pap-Paw and I thought " who is going to be my rock, who am I going to call or email when I need advice and who is going to tell me "Your my favorite granddaughter" I was angry for a long time and I let that take over me and honestly it was easier to go with the anger than to try and answer all the questions. I finally realized God is going to take care of my Granny and my Mom and God will guide me and help me through life. My Pap-paw would be very upset with me now if he knew that I let anger take over my heart. I miss him more than anyone will ever know, I talk to him daily and there will never be a day that goes by that I don't think of him!

1 comments:

Anonymous said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I cried when I read this....
I know it is wrong but I still wonder why he was taken from us.
I loved him dearly. Yes GOD is in control and sometimes it is hard for us to accept that....
<3 KDM

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