Wednesday, September 9, 2009

AAAHHHH...

I am sitting here so sad and so angry! There is no other way to describe how I feel I am devestated. If you know me you know I love my Granny and that she is like a mom,friend, granny everything rolled into one. To see her lay there in pain is hell, ecspecially when there is nothing I can do for her. I wish that I could be the one laying there I wish I was the one going into surgery. I hate it I cant stand it and I honestly cant even think about it. All I can do is pray to God that he doesnt take my Granny. I will tell you this is the first time in my life that I have fallen to my knees and begged God to help me and help my Granny.

I am angry because I am torn. I am angry because I am choosing to put my job in front on my family-I should be there at the hospital my Granny shouldnt be alone at anytime during any of this.Its ridiculous that this is even a problem!I am not even going to type it all out. But I will say that I am glad to see how people really are and I will also say that I have seen selfishness in its prime and let me tell you its UGLY!!!

I promised my Granny I would go home because she gets so worried that I dont get enough sleep and that I am not going to be to work on time or she gets upset because she thinks she is a burden but let me tell you something I will be there for my Granny every step of this hell or high water. I will not put my family second to anything or anyone...

On that note I am going to let her get a good dose of medicine in her and sneak back up there and sleep there and be where I am suppossed to be.

I know this blog is angry but guess what I am angry! I angry that my Granny is in pain, I am angry that this is even happening, I am angry with myself and I am angry that people are so selfish!

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