Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Bobcats, Leather Jackets, Body Builders... Oh My!!

What a busy day its been! All the sudden I have a lot to talk about so here we go...

  • In all my life I don't think I have ever heard anyone talk about Bobcats but in the past few days I have heard 3 totally different people talk about them! As you know I DONT DO WILDLIFE so to hear all these Nashvillans talk about Bobcat sitings frightens me! This picture is from the backyard of a guy I work with and that thing doesn't even look nice. If I saw one I think I would just lay down and pretend to be dead-wait does that only work for bears? Either way the bobcat would kill me or the big birds that are by my house would-remember this?

  • I saw this today on my way to work-yes I took her picture -yes I was a little nervous that she might see me take it -yes I was a little scared of her! First off let them me say that it was 80 degrees this morning in the sun so I can only imagine how sweaty Flossy(what I call people who I don't know there name) is under that leather coat! Second, when she rev-ed that bad boy up the smoke almost choked me in the car with the windows up, I can only imagine how Flossy's hair smelled after she got off that thing! Third, Flossy lifted her mask up to wipe her face so I can only imagine how pretty her makeup is when she gets off that thing! So Flossy gets to work all sweaty, smelling like exhaust with the smeared makeup look- Oh Flossy's office is lucky to have her! Flossy if you read this email me and we can carpool!!!!

  • OK I have a love/hate relationship with the gym! I have learned over the years that if I do not get up and go before work I aint going-that's all there is to it! SO I am making an effort to get up and go and I will say that my days go better and I am a little less crabby during the day(not much though)! The gym in the morning is a VERY INTERESTING PLACE! Let me give you a quick rundown of who is there...
    • There are the people like me that are there to do cardio-get it done and move on. We are the ones who don't make eye contact, walk in with the iPod on and leave with the iPod on so there is no chance of you talking to anyone, the ones with the magazine that bee lines to the machine with your head down.
    • There are the social ones- the ones that work up a sweat walking to and from different people to talk to. They are the ones that are sitting at the tables in the lobby that say "see you tomorrow" even if you have your iPod on! They are the ones that come to the gym to workout in their BLUE JEANS!!!
    • There are the serious weight lifters guys and one very questionable lady- they are the ones that come in the morning to do the big time weight lifting with the grunting, tank tops and their gallons of water. They are there to put on a show for the people like me who watch thru the mirror from the machines so that I am sure that I wont make eye contact with them and THEY KNOW THAT WE ARE WATCHING!
    • The Senior Citizens-they are my favorite- they are the ones that are they first thing-fully dressed and with make-up on to play cards and drink coffee at 5AM- Love them!
So that wraps up the people that are at my gym at 5 am but this morning there was a new one and guess what he was on my machine!

 Oh yeah the early birds have specific machines and everyone pretty much obliges(what an odd word) by that -that is your machine and  the motto is "I wont use yours if you don't use mine"(I totally just made that up and it could sound dirty in the wrong context)! Well in my iPod wearing, no eye contact,  beelining to MY machine mode I didn't notice him on the machine till I got over there and of course we made eye contact OH CRAP!

 So there are 3 machines in a row I have mine  there is an empty one and another iPod user has the 3rd one- THATS HOW IT IS SUPPOSSED TO BE! So I am nervous, make eye contact there was smiling on his part so now I HAVE to get on the middle one. At this point I am already sweating because I am nervous and I think its so weird to workout directly next to someone much less climb up on this machine and what if I fell OH MY STARS I WOULD PRETEND TO PASS OUT- you know he is going to peak and see my weight and what level I put it on(I know I do so I KNOW he will, who doesnt sneak a peak? I  know the weight lifters don't because they are staring at themselves the whole time)! I get up there, get settled and oh my.... wait....what was that noise???? LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WE HAVE A MOANER AND THROAT CLEARER!! Really buddy I didn't get up at 5am to come down here for you to take my machine and then annoy me on top of that! Every 5 seconds he was clearing his throat, snorting and carrying on....OH MY STARS TAKE CARE OF THAT MESS IN PRIVATE! So of course I cant be that person that immediately gets on and gets off so I have to deal with it until.... wait for it.....yup he taps me on the arm and asks to look at my US WEEKLY magazine when I am done!!! AND IM DONE... I say something like "this machine is just my warm up" and I move.... was it mean?Yes! Would I have torn his head off if I would have stayed there?Yes!

Wow ok I am done now! Now that I have completely gone off on a tangent and my post is 3 pages long! I am off to get busy doing all the things that I didn't get done over the weekend so that I can get to bed early so that I can get up at 5 to start all over again! Yay(insert your own sarcasm in that Yay!)

Also I am a little nervous that if Flossy from the motorcycle is one of the 10s of people that reads this crazy mess she might hunt me down! FLOSSY IF YOU DID READ THIS AND YOU DID MAKE IT THRU MY GYM STORY- its all in good fun! I am sure your a sweet lady on your motorcycle, with with your hankie and leather jacket!

17 comments:

Shannon said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Love that you call people you don't know Flossy...that's too funny! Your gym story had me cracking up and you go girl for hitting the gym before the crack of dawn. Impressive!

Annie said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I LOVE your stories!! You just put a smile on my face :) I'm glad I'm not the only one who acts the way you do at the gym haha

Tiffany said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

girl u have more going for you than I do. I couldn't drag my butt up to by at the gym at 5 AM for anything in the world! keep at it!!

Christa said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh gosh I would be terrified if I saw a Bobcat! Love your gym story! Too funny! And yes I could totally see us being friends! :)

Kristen said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You are spot on with the gym types, I think each time of day has their own group made of of the people that you mentioned!

Stay clear of those bobcats ~ yikes!

Domesticated-Bliss said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I was seriously laughing out loud at this post! You crack me up!

"I'm sorry if you're one of the tens of people that read my blog"

HILARIOUS!

Girly Tomboy Extraordinaire said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

If Flossy finds you, I hope she takes you up on carpooling. Who knows, maybe that will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

Kelsey Claire @Lavender, Leopard, and Lace said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I have never got the whole blue jeans to the gym thing! How uncomfortable!

Ashley said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Your post just made my night! I was crabby and ready to head to bed until I read this. You made me laugh out loud, really loud. As if you call random people Flossy, I love it. I really hope that she isn't a follower/reader...haha...imagine?!

Also, the gym guy...ewww...I definitely couldn't have standed being stuck beside him for a whole work out. Moaning and throat clearing...tough to handle especially that early in the morning! Why the moaning??? Haha...

Thanks for making my night. Love your blog!

Ashley said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Love your guym story! I laughed so hard!

Melissa's Thoughts said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You are so funny.

Beth McC. said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Thanks for all the comments! You guys are the best for stopping by the good ole' blog! I am going to the gym again tomorrow and ole' boy better not be on my machine!

Lesli said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You are too funny, I was lol the whole time reading this.. oh and Flossy was cracking me up! Now everytime I see someone whose name I do not know, I will think of Flossy..lol! Hope you have a great week!

Cheryl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

HIlarious!
I saw a guy at the gym last night in flip flops....is that even allowed?
PS: the crazies gym rats are out at 10pm too....likely their 2nd workout of the day!

Swing by for a visit!
http://tubaltales.blogspot.com/

Laura said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

omg! you had me crackin' up when I read this post this morning! lol. I go to a small gym in a community center everyone is always staring at you there. Especially when you are the only girl there on the treadmill and there are like 15 guys there weight lifting. Its like they all try to out do each other to impress you or something.

Candice Pair said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

OH. MY. WORD...where do I even start?! THis is hilarious!

First, Bobcats scare the crap out of me and that picture just verified why!

Second...Flossy...hahahahahah!

Third, you sound just like my husband when he talks about the gym too!

You are too funny lady!!!

Shannon Hairr Photography said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh my goodness, Beth you crack me up. I wish I could follow you around all day. :)

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