Sunday, July 25, 2010

It was a Cold Day...

Its was a chilly morning in January 2004 I am driving along towards downtown headed to pay a parking ticket. I am talking to my Granny on the phone checking on my Pap-Paw(that's when he was sick in hospital) and I get off the interstate at my exit and my light was green so I head on through the intersection and that was it.

I remember seeing the homeless man on the corner...
 I remember tasting blood...
 I remember the smell of something burning...
I remember them flipping my car back over...
I remember the sound of the saw they used to cut the door open...
I remember them  telling me my leg was caught in the steering wheel and they had to pull it out and that it would hurt and I remember the scream that I yelled during the pull....
I remember wanting and trying to cry...
I remember the look in the eye of cop that keep telling me to "hold on, we almost have you out of the car just hold on"...
I remember hearing them say "are you the mother of Elizabeth" when they called my Mom-I cant even imagine the thoughts that she was having when she got that call....
I remember the lady saying "you are lucky to be alive"...
I remember trying to tell them to call my Granny so she wouldnt worry....
I remember the pain all over my body...
I remember praying "Please don't let me die"...
I remember seeing the agony on my Moms face....
I remember that my little brother couldn't even look at me because he had tears in his eyes...
I remember them saying "Ma'am we cant take your neck brace off till we see how bad your head and neck injuries are"....
I remember the anger I felt because of what my Mom, Granny and brother were going thru because of that stupid girl that ran a red light...
I remember the pain...

It was one of the worst days of my life but little did I know then that it would be the first day of my silent little hell. It was the beginning of many, many, many doctors appointments, bills, medicine, anger, constant  pain, health problems, debt....
I have always been a fan of the saying "something good comes from every situation" but nothing good came from my car wreck. NOTHING...

Here it is 2010 and I am still haunted by that day in so many ways...
Every day that I have to take my handful of medicine so that my bladder will hopefully continue to work at only 50%...
Every day that I double check my purse to make sure I have my headache medicine and then the other medicine that I have to take when I have to take the headache medicine because it makes me sick...
Every day that I feel beyond exhausted because my body constantly has a 100-101 degree temperature...
Every time I have to get a scan of my brain...
Every time that I have to go the urologist(which is a lot)

Here it is 2010 and I spend $157 a month for medication that I will have to take everyday for the rest of my life because a stupid girl ran a red light.
Here it is 2010 and I get a bill in the mail for $2700 from my orthepedic doctor( I mean did it get lost in the mail?)

Yes I sued.
Yes I won
After paying the bills, paying my dad and buying another car there was nothing left but more medicine to buy and more bills to pay
I don't know if your like me but writing a $2700 check out of nowhere is not in the cards for me right now so now years later my car wreck has screwed not just me but my credit.

I am angry tonight over this and I want answers!
Why did this happen to me?
Why did my Mom have to get that phone call that day about her daughter being rushed to the hospital?
Why do I have to live in  debt because a girl ran a red light?

Why?



17 comments:

Christina said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh my gosh, that is terrible and so unfair. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I have to say that I would never know anything like that happened to you because of your sunny disposition. Stay positive!

Anonymous said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

If I could change places wtih you I would to spare you this agony...but I am so grateful you are still here...
You have handled the situation very well..
I am proud of you!
KDM

Lauren Thomas said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh Beth, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. However, somehow, I believe all things happen for a reason. It may be years down the road, but maybe just some day, you'll be able to use this experience for good.

BUT, it's totally ok to be angry. Kind of sounds like you have a right too :)

Hang in there!

Kerbi said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

So sorry that you are going through this. I am praying that you will have answers. Keep your head up!

Makay said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow. I am so sorry that happened to you.

Go listen to the song "Before the Morning" seriously... go do it...

YOU are in my prayers. I hope God shows you the way.

Love makay

Kelly said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I am so sorry that you ever had to go through any of this and from your post it seems that the continous pain hasn't lessened any. Please know that you have people thinking about you.

Selma said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Girl, so incredibly sorry this happened to you. This is just horrible. I don't think there's ever going to be an answer to your question. As hard as this may sound but I believe it's never going to be the right one. :( Though to beat this constant question mark in your mind and heart, remember that you're still here, alive, with or without medication, and that is worth everything! :)
Hang in there Beth and try to stay positive, even though it's not easy!

Melissa's Thoughts said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow, I'm so sorry that you have to live each day like this. When I was 16 my family was hit by a drunk driver. My mom lives each day in pain and had to quit her job that she loved. We don't know why this happens, but I'm so thankful you were not killed. I'm praying for you girl.

Miss Chelsea said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow, I don't even know the words to say.

It's scary how many people run red lights nowadays like it's nothing. There's a particular intersection in the town I live in that's it's almost guarenteed someone will run the light every single cycle. The other day I watched a semi HAUL through a red light, and it was blatantly red... like the opposite direction had had a green light for a good 10 seconds.

I cringe any time I think about having to go through that intersection!

C'est La Vie said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

wow...the song i put on my blog today is just for you, isn't it?

i'm so sorry you had to experience something like that. i know you feel nothing good has come from it but you may just need more time.

you are so strong to have survived such an accident, you have a stregth others can't even imagion.

keep being patient. turn your grief to grace :)

Krystal said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I got in an accident where I ran into a concrete wall on the interstate, and I feel your pain. I was lucky enough to not have long lasting injuries, but I have anxiety when I drive at certain times. Good luck in your recovery and just remember that you're blessed to be here with us today and we are all grateful. =)

Miss Madison's Mommy said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow this post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry that one day has followed you and caused so much agony! Thank God you survived and that's the most important thing :)

Kate said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

its so hard to understand why God allows this kind of stuff to happen, hang in there girl. better days are coming! Hope in Jesus! I'm praying for you!

Erin said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

So sorry you had to go through that, as well as your family. As well as the continuous battle you fight. But you are amazing and I think it's safe to say we in the blog world are ALL thankful you are here:) I'll be keeping you in my prayers girl!

Cb said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I am just reading this and I can't tell you how much I can relate to what you are going through. I was you a few years ago. I went through a different but very similar kind of situation and I still to this day have health problems, money issues, memory problems and lots of other things that will never get resolved but the fact of the matter is that I have my life and my family and I wake up every morning and realize just how lucky I was to pull through my situation and to keep fighting no matter what it takes because I am strong enough to get through anything! You are too! I will share my story on my blog later today. Read it and you will understand that you are not alone. Contunie to be the strong beautiful woman that you are because the man upstairs still needs you here and that is why he kept you on this great earth! You shine girl!

Carolyn said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Beth:
I am so sorry about all that has happened to you, and you have every right to be angry. If there is a bright side to any part of this, it is that you survived. When I was 11, I lost my 18-year-old cousin, who was more like a big brother, in a car accident because someone crossed a yellow line. That was 44 years ago, and I think about him almost every day. I'm glad you made it. Be strong, girl. God still must have work for you to do.

Katie said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow....
You've made it this far! That's something. I don't think it's fair when people try to say everthing happens for a reason. Geeze. Really? A little harsh I think.
Even though it doesn't help to be angry, had this happened to me, I would be still and probably a little bit for the rest of my life.
Stay strong.
Also a new follower, can't wait to read more from you. :)

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